WHAT HAS CLARISSA BEEN DOING:

1. Attending birthday parties



2. Dancing with my pals



3. Analyzing the shape of my boyfriend's eyebrows



4. Watching cars explode



5. Trying to convince my boyfriend to get braces

But nah. I wish I was that hip though.

Lately I've been laying in bed, feeling insecure and worried



That maybe one day you'd forget me :'(

Hahahahhahahahaha sending you hugs and kisses from Auzzieland!

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN CLARISSA?

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

OMG IT'S CURRENTLY 3 MORE MINUTES TO 15 MAY-

(Ok I jumped to FB so because I fucking competitive and I OWN YOUR WALL ON YOUR BIRTHDAY >:@ I'M LIKE A DOG AND YOUR WALL IS A TREE AND I'M PEEING ON THE TREE. Ok...)

Alright you know for the past few months, I've been collecting a lot of Taemin and TOP pictures and gifs to use ON THIS DAY OK. And motherfuck my macbook crashed and my photos all gone!!!

BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT. THE POINT OF THIS POST IS TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. But alas, that cannot be done because *insert cheesy line about how my love for you extends above the enormity of the universe and therefore cannot fit into a blog post blahblah*

OK LET ME RECALL KEY MILESTONES IN OUR GLORIOUS FRIENDSHIP

Last day of sec1, we finally talked to each other?? I always thought you quite intimidating, cos your face damn dao. So we created stupid pokemons that were related to stupid things, like claromon. HAHA ok just kidding like dickomon and nicomon AND WHAT ELSE AH. Er er boobomon penismon aiya ~the werkz~.

AND THENNN sec2 we were seating partners!!!!! ok that was the best time of my secondary school life ok OK OK YOU STUPID GIRL. And then i was like omg what why is clarissa my seating partner she so dao and quiet. AND SO I HAD TO INVENT TRUTH OR TRUTH. Then on V Day you gave me the bottle of bubbles and then you wrote that you love Truth Or Truth I WAS SO TOUCHED LEH. Fitness Corner xEverydayofoursec2life. Then ahem Jar + Swan period omg tumultuous times of our lives HAHAHHA. And how you let me weep under your coffee table. And how you zoomed into Swan's face. And his friend's face. And when we found that obscene Xanga and we ran away to read it and ok if i rmb it was abt a father who had sex with his daughter thinking it was his daughter's friend. AND THEN RMB we tried to be ahead of the class in Sexual Reproduction then we tried to find BBC educational videos of erecting penises and women giving birth. And we listened to ABBA and Killers tgt which gave birth to Super Grouper and the Super Grouper DANCE DO YOU RMB THE DANCE ANOT. And rmb Nelson Tan (who became some other name which is not as catchy as Nelson Tan). And when we went to Teacher's Estate to sell the stupid CDs and this very nice old couple offered to give us a drink but then we were so cowardly and corrupted with Disney stories that we declined and ran away.

HAHAHAH RMB YOU WERE DAMN OFFENDED AND PISSED OFF WHEN I CALLED YOU A B*TCH OMG SORRY LOVE I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY. PERSON. THAT I REFRAIN FROM CALLING BITCH. Besides strangers and acquaintances.

And Gantan ahem.

And prank-calling. Rmb the Swan one then the plan was that we ask him to do a homosexual survey and you and Giwon suuposed to make sexual sounds and I will shout at you all "STOP IT GIRLS, NO SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR DURING OFFICE HOURS" or something like that. AND YOU TWO BAILED ON ME HAHAHHA.

And how I gladly eat your butter bread for you every bloody morning because I can't help being in love with butter and bread. Even if you put the bread in your skirt pocket... Stop it ok i'm not gross.
And sec3-4 which began the whole long letters thing. I always look forward to your letters like ALWAYS. Like more meaningful than receiving a V Day text from Jar. And how you diss Kpop like siao and then you regretted and accepted it (like how i succumbed as well....). And then when i was really angry and upset over someone, you came and gave me a picozoo letter with the little animal erasers omg I was so touched ok. And then the stupidest thing. My birthday!! You gave me a Kellog's mini cereal box and then you said "Oh my dad works at Kellog's so I asked him to customise it specially for you" AND I TOTALLY FELL FOR IT. LIKE I READ IT AND A TEAR DRIPPED DOWN MY PORCELAIN FACE. And then i realised FUCK NO CLARISSA'S DAD DOES NOT WORK FOR KELLOGS WTF. But still i was damn touched (obviously).

OMG DO YOU REALISE I'M DAMN TOUCHED AT EVERY DAMN THING YOU DO FOR ME.

OK THE ABOVE EVERYTHING HARDLY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR 18TH BUT ALL I WANTED TO SAY IS THAT EVERY MOMENT I SPENT WITH YOU IS SO MEMORABLE AND EVEN THROUGH 5 YEARS ON THEY STILL FEEL LIKE A WEEK OLD MEMORY. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOU OK IF ANYONE IN AUSTRALIA BULLIES YOU I SWEAR TO ALL THE HEAVENS THAT I WILL FLY THERE AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM COS YOU KNOW I WILL JUST GIVE ME A RING.



UNDERSTAND. OK THIS IS, UNFORTUNATELY, THE END OF THIS BIRTHDAY POST DON'T CRY HOR.

TILL THEN...

Hehe!

You are 18, and I love you!
Last year you had Wang Lee Hom's chicken essence and the year before you had bio essence, this year.........................................



I give you Robovites, cos it's cute and hip and healthy and I want you to be healthy~

See you soon!

HI OMGOMGOMGDAKFAHSDKASHDK

OMG IT HAS BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME SINCE I LAST POSTED HERE.........

I've been busy the whole of this week and I'm totally sleep deprived! And the worst part is I'm sick again for the 3rd time since I came here!!!! But other than that, things here are alright!

I miss Singapore so much:

1. The food omg yum yum, need I say more?!

2. SECURITY!!!!!!!!! I really miss how safe it is in Singapore! There are so many drunkards here omg and they can be drunk even in the day leh wth!

3. The transport system!!!! ARGH!!!! I have to walk to classes everyday! And it's not just a 5 minute walk kinda thing! It's a 15-20 mins walk kinda thing!! The buses here are..... Um no comment... And I have to walk like 10 minutes to the nearest tram stop! I totally took the bus stop outside my home in Sg for granted....

4. THE PEOPLE. The people here can be quite rude and racist............ I'm not saying all of them but some. And that handful of them is enough to ruin my day!

5. The WEATHER, THE SUNSHINE!!!!! The weather here is so freaking erratic, it can be hot one second and FREAKING cold the next!!! Maybe that's the reason why I got sick so many times since I came here!

6. YOU. Seriously, I miss you so much :c The people here are so different, even the Singaporeans... And I miss you so much!!!!!!!!!! :'c

Always loving (and missing) you,

Huiyu

LAST (baby good) NIGHT

Last night I had a super random dream of you!!!!!!!!!??!?!??!!!???!

You were just screaming and laughing obnoxiously behind me as we were walking at some bus interchange (to be specific it looks like Choa Chu Kang bus interchange haha) and I turned back...

And hit your chest like the good ol' days, except it felt like u haz blossomed HAHAHAHAHA!

It was such such a random and short dream!!!

AND I THINK I CAN'T SEE YOU BEFORE I LEAVE?!?!??!!!!! Sighhhhh............................. I sigh deeply as if the ground is going to cave in... HAHA GEDDIT GEDDIT???

I miss you so much you won't even know........

Love you so much stupid gal :'c

Please remember to remember me...

THIS POST IS LONG BECAUSE I TYPED CTRL+V

HAHAHHAHA OMG CLARISSA TOH I WAS JUST READING OUR ARCHIVES AND I WAS FUCKING VIBRATING IN MY CHAIR LIKE SOME LOWCLASS SEX TOY

I still remember the first time you told me you went to Pull and Bear over the phone! I thought it was POOH AND BEAR HAHA, like POOH BEAR!



WELL I AM GOING TO GET IT SOON AND WRITE FINISH THE LETTER AND GIVE IT TO YOU NEXT THURS! PLZ LOOK FORWARD TO IT, HAHA!

Can't wait for Thurs actually. I havn't seen da gang in quite long! I NEVER SEE WEILIN AND YUEBIN SINCE SCHOOL ENDED! That's really quite long!

From now on I am going to copy you and call it gang because I don't know what to call us.

Anyway Kevjoojoo is being a smart alec again... He says gang is a group of troublemaking young people. He is just jealous that he doesn't have any friends! Especially after that time Nicolette didn't include him in your top 4 friends! He has been so bitter about it!!!

OH!!! PLZ STOP MESSING UP MY HAIR NICOLETTE, I AM NOT ROSIE!!!!!!!!!!! Well I am going to tell you all how Nicolette once called me Rosie and pretended that I was a dog and started patting my "fur" and got Weilin into doing it too!

If Nicolette was a dog I will call her SORIE (swap the places of S and R is ROSIE) because she had better be feeling SORIE!

OH OH OH!!! At Yong Siew Toh, there was this guy who had BO and he was like standing around then later he kept pinching his nose because he knew he had BO and wanted to act like the smell was coming from someone else and it's so smelly, HAHAHA! So stupid!

OK THIS POST QUITE LONG BYE!

Ps. I just went to some random person's blog and she said "VALLINA". THAT'S SO FUNNY! IT'S VANILLA FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!!!!! OMG YOU SHOULD TRY SAYING VALLINA COS IT'S SO FUNNY!

POOH AND BEAR. SORIE. OMG SORIE. AND VALLINA. It was like I was drowning in the sea and then I surface momentarily for air only to be crushed by wave after wave.

OMGWTF WOAHITSANDREW I TOTALLY FORGOT HIM. AND THAT LONG (LONG AND BEAUTIFUL) LETTER YOU WROTE ME WITH ALL THE YOUTUBE CHANNELS YOU LIKED.

I MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCH WHY CANT WE BE TGT4EVA. :(